In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
