Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
tell me about the eggs
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
