I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
