you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
