Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
