How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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