Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
