he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
