Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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