D3 body, D1 cock
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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