Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
