I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
