im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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