soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
