Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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