Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
