Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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