real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
