stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
