dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
