Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize