Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
