I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
