My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
