dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
