I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize