nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
