You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
