Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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