I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
