you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
