a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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