She said her name was "party"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
