Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize