Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
