just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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