How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
