I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
