There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
