She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize