Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
