what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
