i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
