i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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