I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
