In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
