That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
