This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
