I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's always time for handjobs
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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