i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
