jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
