He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
