Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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