i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
