Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
