I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
