I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
