you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
