Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
