I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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