I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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