So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize