She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
