You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
