yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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