So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
