Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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